With or Without
by Abigail-Nicole
Summary: Things change; teams split up. It's been twenty years since the Teen Titans split up, no longer teens; and now a strange coincidence brings them back together. Can things be the way they were?
1. Explination, Disclaimer

**With or Without **

**Explination, Disclaimer**

This is a very odd fic. 

To begin with, it's important that you know some background history. In this, the Titans have split after almost ten years of being together. Starfire is back on her home planet, trying to stop a civil war; Robin has taken up with Batman, and is starting to feel the chafe of being a sidekick. Raven began with Starfire on a journey back home, but eventually left to practice the meditation and energy control of the planet Jliam. Cyborg has tried to develop a new computer system, while Beastboy joined a Buddhist shrine where animals were held sacred, and spends his days with his animal friends and the monks. 

Five seperate lives; five seperate jobs. 

But they are brought together in a way no one expects, in such an odd way that it will seem as if fate itself is pulling for them in the most extrodinary of coincidences. 

I own none of the characters you recognize: Starfire, Raven, Beastboy, Robin, Cyborg, Blackfire. I own most of the ones you don't: Windfire (now a graying woman), Cassandra (Raven's meditation instructor), Cyran (who is pulling Robin away from Batman), Aclica (the seductive woman trying to lure Cyborg into danger), and all other characters I may make up on the spur of the moment. 

This is written in the same style as 'The Creek at White's Crossing' by Zefyr1 (under my favorites). If you read it, you'll probably recognize this. I'm not sure how far this will go; I like long stories but I have a tendency to get bored and cut off the end (just a warning). 

So, if you think you're ready, read on...


	2. 1 :queen in the mirror:

**With or Without **

**1. :queen in the mirror:**

_"We'll never forget each other," Robin said gravely. _

"Always," Starfire said, heartfelt. "No matter if we are with or without each other, and for the better or for the worse, we will always remember." 

"In sickness or in health," Beastboy added, unable to resist, drawing a smile from the tighly drawn faces. 

"I know I haven't always told you guys," Cyborg said hesitantly, "but you guys have meant more to me than anyone else." 

"We're family," Raven said simply. 

"And we always shall be," Starfire interjected. 

* * *

Starfire shook her head slightly. "They have opened fire again?" she asked the girl beside her. The girl, with long dark green hair, shook her head tightly. "Damn," Starrfire murmured quietly. "The second time in three days." She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "We must send in the Peacekeepers; there's no doubt about it. If they can't control their gunmen long enough to debate a three-day peace treaty there'll be no hope. We have to show them we're still in control." 

"For how much longer?" someone asked wryly, causing Starfire to turn and see her brother, Grayfire, striding towards her. "They're getting ready to denote their bomb." 

"Then we have to stop them before they do," Starfire said tightly. "Jadyar, call the Peacekeepers, try to get Yarsil on the videophone with me if you can." The green haired secretary--Jadyar--beside her nodded briskly and headed off down one of the halls where staff members were running back and forth. 

"We can't keep this up much longer," Grayfire said evenly. "The Peacekeepers are already spread too thin; a dozen minor skirmishes have sprung up." Grayfire was her army consultant; he was a general of the Peacekeepers, the royal army. 

"I know," Starfire snapped, then sighed. "Forgive me. This is putting us all under strain." 

"And none more than you," Grayfire said lightly, resting a hand on his sister's shoulder. "You're getting thin and pale. You're stressing out. You need a break." 

"And where will I get one?" Starfire asked wearily. "I am in charge of these negotiations as the head of the Council, you know. And they are not giving me any chance to relax." 

Grayfire watched her carefully, but he knew it was true. She squared her shoulders. "They've called a meeting in ten minutes; I have to get dressed. If you get Yarsil, tell him about the new open fire, if he can, have him call me back if they're still in session. We need to get this thing under control before the entire city explodes." 

Grayfire nodded curtly and Starfire proceeded alone past the double doors into the wing specified as her own. The creators of the Council had knows many years before that the Head of the Council would need rooms such as this; the most luxurious room in the city, maybe the country. "I need it," Starfire murmured to the room. The stresses of her job far outweighed any benefits, especially with crisises like this going on. 

She took a deep breath and opened her closet, looking for the long, formal ceremonial robes worn before a full Council. They were long, to her feet, violet with green trim. She pulled them on hastily, the many-layered skirt sewn together for such hasty occasions such as this. Over her vanity she pulled out the jar of white face powder, making sure her face was completely white before pulling her long hair up in the traditional knot, feathers in place. _I should see about changing the laws,_ she thought, only for the millionth time. _Having to wear full formal dress every time the Council meets is ridiciolious, especially as often as it meets now._

Pausing one last time, Starfire stared into the mirror, into her own reflection. Her green eyes were sunken and tired, her red hair tied up formally but still feeling like a weight on her head. Her hands shook slightly on the vanity, and there were dark circles under her eyes the powder could not conceal. 

With a sudden, odd stab of memory, she glanced at the picture on her vanity, the only one she still kept. Herself as a child, merely fifteen, on Earth, surrounded by her friends, most of them smiling. Robin, Cyborg, Beastboy, Raven...she wondered what happened to them now. But yet an odder thought crossed her mind: _What would they think of me now?_

Comforted yet haunted by the memory of her friends, she walked out of her room with her head held high, shoulders squared, ready to face the close questioning of the Council. _Bring it on,_ she thought grimly before she walked into the full courtrooom. 


	3. 2 :fading away, falling behind:

**With or Without **

**2. :fading away, falling behind:**

"Another good capture, Robin," Batman was saying as he climbed into the Batmobile, Robin on the inside. "The Joker won't be showing his face inside Gotham city anytime soon." 

"You're right, Batman," Robin said automatically. "We sure beat him good." 

. Batman did not answer, busy with undoing many of the Batmobile's safety devices so he could drive it back to the Batcave, nor did he notice the flatness of Robin's tone. Robin was staring out the window, watching the tall skyscrapers fly past as Batman pulled out of the parking spot and down the streets of Gotham. It was possible he noticed his partner's quietness, but if so he put it down to the usual tiredness after the capture of a particularly difficult criminal like the Joker. 

In reality, the Joker was the farthest thing from Robin's mind. He felt oddly empty, watching Batman take on the Joker single-handedly. _He's the real hero now,_ Robin thought quietly. 

The Batmobile pulled into the Batcave and Batman and Robin unbuckled their seatbelts, opening the doors and pulling themselves out. "A new call for you, sir," said Charles from the doorway, indicating Batman. 

"I'll be right there," Batman said at once, striding towards his butler removing his gloves. Robin was silent as Batman and Charles left, barely giving him a passing glance. 

A memory sprung upon him suddenly; a fifteen-year old memory, now. Him, commanding the Teen Titans into battle against Thunder and Lightning, coming in for the final blow with his friends around him. He felt an odd pang and realized that he would never have that again, never. Beastboy and Cyborg had gone into their own private lives, hardly remembering him now; Starfire and Raven had set off together into space. Both of them probably forgot all about their has-been leader of fifteen years ago. Where were they now? he wondered silently. Were they the same people he knew? 

His eyes lingered on the door into the mansion and he realized with a jolt that he _was_ a has-been. What was he now? Reduced to playing the role of pathetic sidekick to make Batman look good. Did Batman even need him? What was he in Gotham for? 

_Is this all this means to me?_ he wondered to himself. _It used to be fighting for truth and justice. Now what is it...a job? What happened to the days when we were a team, when I was the leader, when we needed each other?_

Robin shook his head and came out of costume, changing back into the street clothes of Dick Grayson, the person he had become.Walking back onto the street, he paused. What did he have to go back to...an apartment in a Gotham high-rise. _City of darkness, darkening my soul,_ he thought grimly to himself. _I wish I could go back._

Little did he know how close he would come. 


	4. 3 :light of the mind, dark of the soul:

**With or Without **

**3. :light of the mind, dark of the soul:**

"You're late."

Raven grimaced to herself as she hurried forward. "I...overslept." 

"Oversleeping is no excuse." 

Raven took a deep breath. "I know, sensei," she said evenly. "Forgive me." 

The woman floating in midair had never opened her eyes, or indeed raised her voice. It was a monotone, melodious yet grating. Her dark hair fell to past her body floating in midair to touch the floor beside her, and glowed faintly with black traces of power. 

"Are you ready to begin mediation?"

"Yes, sensei," Raven said evenly. 

"Have you practiced? I will look into your mind and soon find out." 

Raven mentally braced herself. Cassandra was always strict, very strict; her mind must be emotionless and her memories pure before she was allowed to meditate under the woman's strict teaching. Raven closed her eyes and pulled herself to the edge of meditation, the calm point right before sleep, and Cassandra entered her mind. 

She could feel the woman's prescense, the quiet dark intensity of her soul burning and scouring every corner of Raven's mind. There was a blinding pain as Cassandra quivered in Raven's mind upon finding one memory before burning at it with her power. Raven didn't even flinch, but closed her eyes, regulating her breathing. Cassandra withdrew. 

"Your memories are impure." 

"Forgive me, sensei." 

"What will you do?" 

"I will scour my memories and my mind will be clear," Raven replied by rote. 

"You have been emotional." 

"I will clear myself of emotions that hinder me," Raven said again, her voice a monotone. 

Raven kept her eyes closed as she heard the soft rustling around her. Cassandra's long, black tendrils of hair, like long spidery legs, had begun to rise up off the floor, creeping towards Raven on black tendrils of power. She felt the soft, silky edges brush her face, wrapping her body and her throat, tightning until she could breathe only in small, measured, slow breaths. 

"Your friends clutter your memories," Cassandra said, her voice as silky and cool as her hair. "Friends are irrelevant; they are a distraction. They seek to withdraw you from yourself. What will you do to them?" 

"I will scour my memories and my mind will be clear," Raven replied again softly. Cassandra's hair tightened around her throat just a bit more. 

"Not good enough, Raven." 

"I will renounce my friends, clean my memories, purge myself from all I used to be," Raven whispered. The hair loosened and swept across her body, touching her face, chest, stomach, legs, and arms, some tendrils wrapping themselves around her back. 

"Raven, Raven." Cassandra's voice held an undertone of pity. "You have been too influenced in your past life and the memories are still with you. They stop you from reacing the perfection you seek to achieve. But it is not your fault. You must free yourself of your memories, yet I know how hard this can become. I will assist you." 

Raven flinched mentally. Cassandra's help would burn her mind, burn away all her memories. 

"You are fearing me," Cassandra said, her voice sharp. "You are letting your emotions control you! If you hold onto these memories, you will never become what you wish to become. What will you choose, Raven? Which hand shelters? What hand slays?" 

"Forgive me, sensei, for I have allowed my emotions and memories to clutter and cloud my mind," Raven replied by rote. 

Cassandra's hair fell limply back down to the floor. "Assume the meditation position," she said, her voice blank once more. "Focus on the ball of blackness within yourself. Reach within with your mind, burn your emotions away...." 


End file.
